(Last updated: 8-17-2008)

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Welcome to my crappy website. It truly is a bootleg bunch of crap, but I don't care. Not at all. I'm not doing it just to entertain you scumbags; I'm doing it because writing is fun but I am too lazy to actually write a real book. Don't laugh because I'm serious.

If you want to know who the hell I am and why I spent my hard-earned $8.95 to register this domain and to share my thoughts with the world then you can click here to find out. I have no update schedule, but you can count on it being often when I'm not getting laid and never when I'm gettin' some.
(Needless to say, you can all look forward to a LOT of updates in the future!)

Sunday, 8-17-2008: Hiking Mt. Katahdin = better luck next time.
Gav and I attempted to summit Mt. Katahdin today and the end result was FAIL. Seriously! We got up at 0500 so we could leave bright and early and get there by 0730 but by the time we got there the trail we wanted to hike, The Cathedral, was already closed because there is a limit on the amount of people who can hike it in a day. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, Cathedrals are gay anyway since there is no god.

Holy crap this Pandora radio website is better than sex with a fat chick. So far in about 40 minutes there have been two Motley Crue songs, two Def Leppard songs, and this is the third Ratt. Throw in a side of Scorpions, Ozzy, and Whitesnake among others and you got yourself a winning recipe!

Since we could not do option A and Abolham Lincoln, option B, was full we took option C, the Cunt Hunt trail. I drove and drove and drove in order to find this trail but I did not see it and I drove 5 miles past it before I realized it was my bad and I turned around and went by it AGAIN the other way before I turned around and found the parking lot for it. They had a sign with foot-high letters advertising some stump-filled swamp but the sign marking the Cunt Train did not exist. The Nothing came and took it. What a bunch of crap!

I finally parked and we were ready to go when it started to rain. FAIL. Fortunately, the rain did not last long. So much for partly cloudy and mild. We started hiking up the Cunt Trail and we got pretty far and then we realized we were pwned by nature. As soon as we cleared the tree-line we were in a giant fog bank because that god damn mountain sticks out so much that it creates its own weather and the weather that it creates is usually suitable for the town landfill because it is a bunch of crap. I've hiked Katahdin twice before and the last time I was on the Cunt Trail it was ok for part of the journey before fog took over. The first time I ever hiked it was with Phil a few years ago and there was a view that day but there was also FROST ALL OVER THE BAXTER PEAK SIGN BECAUSE IT WAS SO FUCKING COLD. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

Ah well, before we got into the clouds there was a mini-view:

It would not have been so cold today had there not been a 60MPH wind. We hiked some in the fog and I got this view before we both decided there was no point to keep hiking because the purpose of hiking a mountain is not for the enjoyment of the actual hike but for the enjoyment of the view that you are supposed to get and no view = no need to forge on:

FUCK YOU, MOUNT KATAHDIN. Seriously, that thing fucking blows. I guess if there is a view it is okay but the odds of a view are like the odds of me getting laid: terrible! The odds of a view with nice weather are even worse, about the same as the odds of my getting laid by a hot chick. Statistically you know it is possible but in reality it is not because something will fuck it up. In the case of my gettign laid by a hot chick, my total lack of game fucks it up. In the case of Mt. Katahdin, the storm-force winds usually fuck it up.

We quit hiking about halfway up and we bailed the hell out of there. On the way down Gavin was looking at some hike-slut's cans and he cut his leg up on a rock and that was funny. I looked at her cans, too. Fortunately for me there was no rock in my way at the time!

I'm not that pissed about failing to summit Katahdin. I've done it twice before and I'm sure it's not much different now than it was when I did it before. Probably lots of wind, rocks, and douchebags lingering around the sign that says "Baxter Peak." We might get time to hike up to the top next weekend if we raft the Penobscot up there with Phil. If not maybe we can do it next summer!

I guess I should go watch TV or something while I want for my laundry. I should take a nap but screw dat because then I won't sleep as good tonight. I only got 5 hours of sleep last night and the night before I dunno how much I got but it was not enough. (If I count the couple hours I spent face-down on the kitchen floor then I suppose it was adequate.)

Saturday, 8-16-2008: 4 days worth of useless news and a few more photos from raking.
The Red Sox managed to win that game on Tuesday night, 19-17. An 8th inning 3-run home run by Kevin Youkilis was the difference. The Sox have not lost in a few days and the Yankees are sucking. Awesome! Tampa Bay is still in first place, though. Bootleg!

I finally got people living in that bootleg apartment next door. Hopefully they are not douchebags like the last people who lived there and who fucked up my precious homestead. I wish I had a few photos of the finished product but I was literally still finishing up some work as they came over to do the lease and get keys yesterday. I spent a few hours over there this afternoon taking care of smaller things and I have a couple more little things left to do but the hardest of the work is done. I did replace the carpets in both bedrooms and in the living room and I'm glad I did it because the old ones were really ghetto and nasty. The new carpet is some industrial-grade shit that will supposedly last forever. For $900 installed it better last forever god damn it! I actually got a steal of a deal on the stuff because my flooring gurus had it leftover from another job and they sold it to me at a fraction of the regular price. I traded rent for the work, something I've done a lot this year, so it worked out great for us both.

Man did Gavin and I get hammered last night! I mean, bad. Crusher, Thrasher, and Mandy came over and we drank some booze here before we went to the bowling alley. By the time we got to the bowling alley I was already trashed and I think Gavin was, too. A group of two guys and three chicks pulled up to the lane next to us and they were hammered, too. I was hitting on one of the broads and she tried to race me and I bowled before the thingie was done doing its thing and I thought we'd get booted for that move because when a bowling ball smashes into the pin-putter-onner then the staff usually gets pissed. Fortunately I got away with it. Then at some point after that I told one of the chicks I would hit on her but too bad cause I'm gay. What a bunch of crap! I was just joking around because they were all only 18 or 19 and I knew they didn't give a shit. They were fun while they lasted, though. I dunno if they thought we were fun cause they bailed before they even finished one game. Oh well for them!

By late-night I was really drunk but I don't think I was being obnoxious. I dunno, maybe I was. The beotch bartendette saw me drinking straight from the pitcher and I said ok I won't and she was being a bitch to me and then when she was not looking I drank from the pitcher just to spite her because her attitude sucked and then she called one of the staff over to have us escorted out but it was time to go anyway. I was telling the dude what a bitch the bartendette was and he was laughing pretty hard so me must not have liked her either.

Getting thrown out of the bowling alley for being too drunk is epic fail! We didn't really get forcefully thrown out or anything; they just politely rid us of their facility. What a bunch of crap! Too bad the bartendette was such a whore. I even tried to tell her I'm sorry for being an ass but she thought I was being sarcastic and she hated me even more. I think.

After we left the bowling alley I was obliterated and I forget more than I remember. I thought I was gonna puke on the ride home but I manned up and did not. Then once we got home I passed out on the kitchen floor for a couple hours. When I woke up Gav was still drinking with everyone and they were talking shit about me so I laid there and sang the Terminator theme song and probably other nonsense that I cannot recall. After that I got up and hung out for a while more. Gav and I didn't go to bed until 0500! I slept until noon today and Gav is sleeping now. He's wasted like Doc-J and 8-Ball! He said he thought he was still drunk when we were up earlier in the day.

I don't know why I got so drunk? It simply cannot be explained. I guess I made my first few drinks really strong (Captain Morgan's and root beer) and then drinking beer straight out of the pitcher at the bowling alley did me in. What a bunch of crap!

Gav gave me some photos that he took from last Saturday when we were blueberry raking and I hit a bigass beehive. I raked right into that muther and the second before I slammed into it with my rake I remember thinking "What's that buzzing noise?" Then I realized what I was about to do but the rake was in motion and I could not stop in time and I hit the mother-load of pissed-off yellowjackets and all hell broke loose but I ran away so fast that I did not get stung. However, I bailed on my rake and the bees literally covered the thing up. Gav took a photo of the rake covered in angry bees but you can't see all the bees in the photo because he could not get close enough to get a good shot:

I had a brilliant plan to low-crawl up to the rake and grab it but I only got within 10 feet before I got stung just above my left eye. What a bunch of crap! That plan failed so I tried to use a piece of rope and use it as a lasso but I got stung on the top of the head. The rops was simply not long enough and I didn't have better rope in the truck (it was the clothesline back at camp) so I used a chain from the old man's truck instead and this was the end result:

Yup, that plan was a failure as well but I did succeed in getting stung in the face once again. What a bunch of crap! Every time I got stung is sucked hard because it hurt so damn much but it was funny at the same time. My pain was everyone else's amusement! The final sting was the worst because it was within a centimeter of my left eye and that eye could not handle two stings and I was all swollen and I could barely see out of it and Gav said I looked like Sloth from The Goonies:

God damn it! I wouldn't call it Sloth-like but it did suck. The swelling subsided eventually and I could see like a normal person. However, before I recovered we still had to get the rake. I would have tried 1000 times to lassoo the thing but Gav is smart and he had a new plan that worked. The chain was so long that we wrapped it around the rake by making a wide circle and then we dragged it to safety and let it sit for a while so the bees would leave it alone.

I guess I should get off this bootleg thing and go watch the Red Sox. I'm not boozing tonight, f-that. We gotta get up early tomorrow anyway to go hike Mt. Katahdin. We wanted to do it last month but we had trash weather and then Gav had to go back to Georgia for a week. What a bunch of crap!

Tuesday, 8-12-2008: Drama.
The Red Sox apparently took a 10-0 lead against the Rangers tonight and Ortiz hit two 3-run home runs in the same inning. Wow! I missed that part of the game because I was busy at FedEx and taking care of other things. It was 12-7 Sox when I turned it on and then it was 12-10 and now it is 14-10 after Youkilis hit a home run. It's only the 5th inning so this might be a long one. Hopefully the Sox win because they are 4 games out of 1st place and that is a bunch of crap but oh well at least the Yankees are still a few games behind the Sox and that is wicked awesome.

In other non sports-related news, I had to deal with some bullsheeiiiitttttttt yesterday and that was a bunch of crap. Here is what happened: one of my chick friends sent me a text on Sunday night and she was wondering what I was up to. I was doing jack shit when she sent the text. In fact, I probably was about to look at online porn because after a week of camping out and working in the field I was ready to see some tits and ass. However, I am pathetic and can usually not get no tail so I was not expecting a miracle. However, sometimes miracles happen and as soon as I got the text I tried to text her back. Unfortunately, I am like Forrest Gump with my cellphone. Gump once said I'm not a smart man but I know what love is. I don't know what love is and I don't want to know. However, I do know what epic text fail is and I experienced that. Some asshole put this at the end of my phone: Ilikeembig and I do not know how to remove it and I tried to remove it and it removed the text that I tried to send and that is a bunch of crap! So I just called her and she said she would come over and that was pretty cool. We did things not suitable to be mentioned in public (I shanked her pink ass and she looooovvvvvvvveeeeddddddddddd it! -obscure movie reference.)

Getting tail on the first night I got back into town was the antifail. It was awesome! What is not awesome is the fact the Rangers just scored a run and now it is 14-11. Still no outs, new pitcher. FAIL. The girl spent the night and but we both know our relationship is not leading down the path of serious relationship. HOLY CRAP THIS BALLGAME IS A TOTAL CATASTROPHE. 14-12 now, still no outs in the top of the 6th. Great, sac fly now it is 14-13. What a bunch of crap!

Later yesterday I was at work talking to one of my friends as we loaded the trailer. He knows this girl whose name shall remain anonymous on my bootleg pile of crap for all of eternity and he has pokerized her in the past. He did not know she spent the night at my house the night before and he was telling me that when I was (GAY 14-14 now!) blueberry raking he hooked up with her and since then they've been hanging out. He also said he kissed her before he came to work and that was when I realized we had a serious problem because this guy is my friend and we work together and we both pokerized the same girl within a couple days of each other and that is not good. She left my house and then went to hang out with him all before early afternoon. What a bunch of crap!

I don't really care that she let my friend pokerize her because I am emotionally impotent or something. She's not my girlfriend so she can do whatever she wants. He knew her before I ever knew her and she's a good-looking girl so I don't blame him for wanting to get with her. The thing that really bothers me is the fact she didn't tell me she screwed him and she didn't tell him that she screwed me despite the fact that we work together and talk about all kinds of shit. GOD DAMN IT THE RANGERS ARE NOW WINNING, 15-14. THIS IS MORE SCREWED UP THAN A SOUP SANDWICH! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

I had no intentions of bragging about my scoring with a hot chick to my friends at work or even on here. She knows about this site and, even though I'm not sure she reads it, I figured it would be well enough to just STFU and that way I would not say something nice about her that she would read and take out of context and get pissed about. I even told her I would not go brag to my friends and shit, but then once my friend said HE JUST FUCKED HER A COUPLE NIGHTS BEFORE I DID I realized I had to tell him because it was the right thing to do. I didn't tell him to brag about it; I told him because he was planning to hang out with her that night and I wanted him to know he was not the only guy she was fucking.

After I told him the bad news I thought he might get mad and he did. He was not mad at me, at least not to my face, but he was mad at her and he sent her text messages and she sent me text messages and she called me a 14 year old and then later that night she called me and that was a shit-show. She was all sad and I told her she fucked up and she said she was sorry and I was a dink to her and then she told me that all I care about is getting a piece of ass and that is pretty much true but I told her I still thought of her as a friend and she said bullshit we just drink and then fuck and I take offense to that because I don't need to drink to pokerize her because SHE IS A HOT CHICK!

After we went back and forth a few times about our relationship she told me goodbye and to have a nice life. FAIL. I don't think I did anything wrong, though. In conclusion, if you are a chick and you have two guy friends who are friends with each other then whatever you do you should not FUCK ONE OF THEM AND THEN TWO DAYS LATER FUCK THE OTHER ONE AND THEN NOT TELL EITHER ONE OF THEM ABOUT IT. WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

Oh well, at least the sex was good! I guess I'm off this bootleg thing for the night. I gotta watch some of this catastrophe that is supposedly a baseball game even though the score makes it look like a football game and then I'm gonna fall asleep. Goodnight, scumbags!

Sunday, 8-10-2008: Vacation bye bye.
Vacation is over. What a bunch of crap! I have so much shit to do this coming week that it's not even cool. I gotta get that apartment next door all squared away and I have to do other work on my properties. Ah well, it's my job.

Raking was a success. I think. I made $1030.25 for exactly 40 hours total work over 8 days. That's over $25 an hour! Unfortunately, the weather was a shit-show of epic proportions. Gav and I started raking last Sunday morning and within two hours we were drenched after a huge downpour. That was only a taste of what was to come in following days, though. Monday featured off and on showers, Tuesday was cool and windy but dry. After that we got pwned by nature because it rained every god damn day. Wednesday we made some money in the morning and then at lunchtime a steady rain developed so we had to bail and go watch a movie. Thursday was showery with lots of fog and drizzle and then on Friday we were able to work only one hour before it started pouring. Friday's rain lasted all day, too. Roads were washing out in nearby towns and there was a flood watch. What a bunch of crap! It was cold Wed-Fri, too. Only got up to the mid or low 60s each day before finally warming up into the 70s with just passing showers this weekend.

Normally this time of year is hot and dry. In all my years of blueberry raking I've never seen weather like what we had last week. Not cool trying to camp out and having so much rain, not cool at all. Fuck off mother nature you unforgiving beotch. Other than the catastrophe that was the weather the raking was not too bad, though. Boss paid Gav and I 50 cents more per box than last year! I would have liked to work more than only 40 total hours but oh well at least I made good money when I did work. I took some pictures of the fields and crap. Gav took a bunch of pictures with his cellphone, too. I hope he has some good ones of me getting eaten by bees yesterday. I raked into a yellowjacket hive and the end result was all bad. Actually, it was so bad it was good because we were all laughing hysterically at my expense, especially after I attempted several failed rake-rescue missions. If I can get those pics then I'll post them ASAP.

This is the boss leaning on Gavin's truck.

Cliff is 58 years old and one tough bastid. He's a great guy. He even had Gav and I over to his house for dinner on Friday night! His wife made blueberry cobbler and blueberry pie for dessert and it was the first time that Gav has ever eaten a blueberry despite the fact he's raked them for 20 or so years. HAHAHAHAHAAH!

Here is a photo of the field and of a massive rain douching not far away. Yeah, that's the type of crap we had to put up with all week. Fortunately that tornado-looking piece of shit did not hit our field today but we still got some rain.

Here's Gavin sweeping through his final row of the season. A good row would not have so many of the red "bunchberries" in it but that's still better than raking down in the goldenrod!

Those two handles sticking up on the right are the only visible portions of the "ex-lite" rake, the rake I used for most of the season. The biggest and most badass rake is the 110-tooth "ex" (Excalibur, so named by me a few years ago.) and this season the boss ordered two 100-tooth rakes with higher handles. Gavin named those the ex-lites. Gav was man enough to use the ex for a large part of the season and I used it some, but I preferred the ex-lite because I could use it for a long time without feeling wasted like Doc-J and 8-Ball from Full Metal Jacket.

Finally, here is an example of two 30-something year old guys trying to impress every resident of the campsite by having the biggest campfire in town:

I gotta hand it to Gav, he sure knows how to make a fire!

I feel mentally refreshed in some odd way that cannot be properly conveyed on this bootleg pile of shit. I just spent the last week slogging through the rain, making my precious hands turn a gruesome shade of blue, getting stung in the head by a bunch of pissed-off bees, working so hard that my body will need a couple days to feel normal, and living in a tent. That was my vacation. OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Oh wait, I have a check on my desk here for over $1000! Who says money can't buy happiness? I got a lot of exercise, I'm perfectly tanned, I made good money, and I broke up the monotony of everyday life by doing something different than the other 51 weeks of the year. Nothing wrong with that!

I should call my Mommy or something, let her know that I am done raking. Then after that I should look at online porn. I already looked at online porn earlier but I think looking at more is the right thing to do. No internet porn in my tent for a week = what a bunch of crap!

Saturday, 8-2-2008: Vacation and blueberry raking!
I'm on vacation from FedEx until Monday the 11th. Sweet! Unfortunately, I am not on a real vacation because, like I've done for most of the years since I've lived up here, I'm gonna go blueberry raking. The plan is to take care of a bunch of crap up here today and then head out tomorrow morning and camp out/drink beer/blueberry rake all week next week. However, that plan might change since there is a flood watch for 2" of rain tonight into tomorrow. What a bunch of crap! I'm not blueberry raking in a deluge god damn it. Well, I might still rake in the rain because I have no other plans besides maybe working on my bootleg apartments. I would be over at that hole next door cleaning it up but I hired a guy whom I know and he's over there with his wife earning my hardly-earned money as I type this. They are about to fire up the steam cleaner and do a test run on the carpet but I have a real bad feeling about that working. I have to show that hole to people starting at noon so it will be interesting seeing their reactions. I already know a guy who wants the place so I might just rent it to him and his friends. We'll see.

I've had two applicants for the apartment above me. The people who live there now will be out of there at the end of the month and that place is in awesome condition. Renting to them was the antifail. I'm still undecided whom to rent to out of the two applicants. Both interested parties are college seniors. One application is a girl and her step brother. The other is three chick friends. I have not met two of the broads but the one who came to look at the joint was hot so I will have to assume her friends are hot, too. (If they are not hot then no prob because I can put on beer goggles!) The hot chicks do have rental history over the past year and the other two applicants do not have rental history but they came with their parents and their dad pretty much said he'd keep them in line. Too bad the bitch who trashed that apartment next door also came with her parents to look at the joint and look what happened. What a bunch of crap!

I'm not gonna rent to hot chicks unless I think they are the best fit for my precious apartment... PRECIOUS (evil Gollum voice from that Lord of the Ring Dings movie.) Last thing I need is a bunch of tampons floating down my sewer and a bunch of chick-drama going on above my head. However, if I rent to hot chicks then maybe I can pokerize one (or all) of them! I should have learned my lesson from the last recipient of the thunda but I did not and I would definitely pokerize one of my tenants again if the opportunity presented itself. I'm not gonna go out of my way to hit on any hot female tenant, but if she hits on me and she is not too nasty then why not? The bitch would still have to pay rent, though. Rent = $850 a month if we do not fuck. Rent = $850 a month if we do fuck!

I have about a half hour before someone comes over to see that shithole next door. It's starting to look more clean and it does not stink like cat piss right now so that's good. Smells like general purpose cleaner. Carpets are still flithy, though. I should go see what's going on over there. BRB.

Crap, I cannot go over there because Ratt is playing and I want to hear it. I'll go over after this song. I've never heard this one before; it's called I'm Insane. Pretty catchy tune. I'm insane, too! Well not really, but I probably will be in a few years because I hate everyone and everything already. Except the people who invented the tittie-bar, alcohol, and the casino. I could never hate those entrepreneurs!

Wow, the carpets are looking a lot better. Still too early to tell if all of them can be salvaged, but I have hope for at least one of the bedrooms. The living room is looking better, too. Now it's 1200 and some slapnut is supposed to come look at the hole, but I do not care if she even shows up. I think someone else is supposed to come at 1230, someone else at 1300, and then I am DONE showing my bootleg apartments to anyone else. Hopefully I'll have a decision made by tonight.

Okay, I'm outta here. My next update will be at least a week since I'm not bringing a notebook computer out into the blueberry fields. I don't own one of those fucking things anway but I should get one for the sole purpose of being able to look at porn and listen to hair metal everywhere I go!

Friday, 8-1-2008: She's finally out!
The scupper who lived in the apartment next door to me, the one whom I pokerized and then gave an eviction notice to all in the same week back in May, is finally out of my house! AWESOME! Unfortunately, I gave her the notice 2.5 months ago and she hasn't paid me a dime since she got the notice. What a bunch of crap! I went over to that apartment this morning expecting to find a shit-show and I got what I expected. The place was a damn mess and the carpets are NASTY. I mean, bad. I took pictures and I will look at them now to see if I can put any on this bootleg pile of crap...

OH MY GOD THAT IS FUCKING NASTY HOW IN THE CRISPY FUCK CAN YOU LIVE IN THAT FILTH, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE TWO KIDS WHO ARE ONLY 2 AND 7 YEARS OLD?! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! That carpet is fucked. I think I will have to replace it, but I know a guy who does cleaning up after nasty people for a spare job and tomorrow he is going to come and try to save the day. If that fails then plan B is all too obvious and painful: new carpets. Bye bye blueberry raking money! FAIL.

The carpets and general squalor are grounds enough for euthanization of her worthless ass and everyone who ever went over there and thought living like that was acceptable. However, there is more. They decided to smoke in the apartment and they decided to do this to get away with it:

NICE WAY TO PROTECT YOUR KIDS FROM THE DANGER OF BURNING THE DAMN BUILDING DOWN YOU WORTHLESS PILE OF CIVILIAN SHIT! WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP! Too bad for them their plan was fail and, even though the smoke alarm did not go off, the smell of smoke permeated the entire building and everyone knew they were smoking in there and that is one of the reasons their asses had to git. I could make a lit of fails from that bitch and her stupid-ass friends about a mile long. Here are the low-lights of her 11-month stay at the bootleg palace:

-Paying rent late most of the time despite being told to knock that shit off.
-Smoking inside the apartment even after being told a few times to knock that shit off.
-Partying until late night, playing loud music, despite being told several times to knock that shit off.
-STEALING MY FUCKING BOW AND SOME OF MY FUCKING TOOLS.
-Getting an eviction notice on May 16 and living there until the last possible minute, not paying any rent from then on and making me go to court in order to get her the hell out.
-Having a nasty dog that rumbled the neighborhood kids and that probably shat all over the carpet and made it a shit-show. (No pets was the lease agreement.)
-Leaving trash outside the door and throwing it out the winder instead of in the dumpster located not even 100 yards away.
-Having the cops raid the place while looking for stolen crap and in the process damaging my own damn spare room door. Not to mention a general circuis atmosphere.
-Finally moving out and leaving the place a total mess.

EPIC FAIL!

Moving on, I have a ton of shit to do this coming month. So much for taking it easy this summer! I have to get that shithole apartment, the one that used to be my nicest apartment but now is my worst, ready for new tenants. I have the apartment above me that will be vacant in a month and I need to decide who gets to rent that. I still have part of a roof to finish. I have some work left to do at another property and I will be gone all next week for blueberry raking. I wanted to go raking this week but I got pwned by my apartment business. What a bunch of crap! Oh well, it happens.

I guess I should go take a shower and consume alcohol now. I don't know if I will get loaded, but I probably should. My roommate is getting loaded right now because I guess his woman is busy so he can't get no tail tonight. I can't get no tail tonight either. What a bunch of crap! Maybe I will go to the bar and find a fat chick (but not a super fat chick!) Probably not, but you never know until you try. Goodnight, scumbags!

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