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"If you had a fish what would you name him?" -Kat
"SWIMMER!" -Damon (our 4-year old grandson.)
"That's a really stupid name." -Dillon (Damon's father)

Thursday, 2-26-26: ENDGAME BEGINS FOR MY LIFE.
We open the restaurant, Mad Kat version 2.0, tomorrow at 1700.  We are not ready, I don't even know how to use the POS yet, and I feel like I'm toast.  Funny considering the POS we are using is called TOAST HAHAHAHA.  Trim work not done, epoxy floor not done, we aren't there yet.  What a bunch of crap!  Even worse is my depression is bad because I wish I could just die.  Sadly there is no easy way to do that without letting a lot of people down.  I should be selfish for once and just take a permanent nap.  If suicide booths were around like they are in Futurama that would make things easier and less messy.  However, suicide booths should be like mini-blast-furnaces that get up to 10,000 degrees instantly so you just turn to powder in .002 seconds.

I'm not excited about the restaurant at all.  I don't even care... whether or not I care.  I actually do care because I want Kat to get her restaurant the way she wants it, and she didn't get that five years ago.  However, we have a bunch of new hires and I don't even know who some of them are yet.  No clue!  I saw some young chick sitting on the floor earlier and thought maybe she was one of our new dishwashers or something, but she's not even an employee.  HAHAHAHA.  I FAIL.

There are not enough managers to cover all the shifts so Kat has to do some of them.  I feel like an asshole not offering to take them, but I can't because that will kill me.  It won't kill me immediately, but it will destroy what little is left of me if I do it before tax season ends for entire work shifts.  Even after tax season ends I don't want to do it at all.  I can manage, I'm fairly decent at it, but I don't want it.  I'm sick of doing things in this life I don't want to do, and it happens way too often.  My life FUCKING SUCKS.

Earlier today I let it all out and I feel badly for doing it, but it was required.  We see a marriage counselor roughly 3-4 times a month.  We've seen her for years, and she is really good.  It's a ZOOM meeting so we've only ever met her in person once, ever hahaha.  Today I just word-vomited exactly how I feel.  We are working 12-hour days 7 days a week, and maybe every now and then we "only" work 10.  However, every now and then we work over 12 so it all evens out.  THAT IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.  It's not easy work, either.  We are doing carpentry, I'm doing taxes, and it's always go, go, go, and go some more. It's exhausting and I seriously feel like I am dying.  I have a twitch in my right eye so maybe a stroke is coming, and if I have one of those I just hope I immediately die so I'm not a vegetable for a decade until someone turns off the power.  Human vegetables are expensive.  Real veggies are a lot cheaper.

I FUCKED UP IN LIFE.  AGAIN.  WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!

Every year, on average, my life gets worse.  I am bad at being alive so being dead seems like a pretty viable option.

Pet Shop Boys It's Alright plays as I write this worthless update that is almost embarrassing.  What a beautiful and uplifting song that helps me have a glimmer of hope that tomorrow will be better.  Today SUCKED.  Yesterday SUCKED.  Tuesday SUCKED, too.  In fact, Tuesday was worse.  We went to epoxy the floor around mid-afternoon and the epoxy was all hardened like it froze and I thought we were pwned.  I had to call the company, some really helpful guy told us to cook the paint, and it worked.  Heat it up to 120, let it cool and go for it.  Wow seems dumb but hey it got the job done.

Another nail in my life-coffin is that bootleg garage job.  I think I fired the guy; I pulled the permits this morning so it's very unlikely I'm back there in the spring.  Long story there, but basically he hired some hippie dude to finish his wiring and it got bad.  The hippie dude was supposed to only hook up a few lights, but next thing I know he's in the panel and trying to hook 14 to 12 wire ON A FUCKING 20A BREAKER.  OMG!  This fuckin' "electrician" had his stupid little dog in his car and I thought he was on drugs.  Maybe a hippie from the 70s who did a lot of drugs back then and just seems perma-baked?  I wouldn't care, but it's Ben's permit still and Ben is a friend who has helped me immensely since 2007 so almost 20 years = not gonna let some fuckin fly-by-night hippie fuck that up.  Might be too late, I dunno, but I told hippie-sparkie earleir what I thought and I pulled no punches.

I'm completely overwhelmed with the restaurant.  There are things I simply cannot do.  I have neither the time nor the energy.  A couple new hires have already quit.  What a bunch of crap!  Oh well, it happens.  I would not be overwhelmed if not for the tax business, but I enjoy doing the tax business more than I enjoy doing the restaurant so that is my priority.  This month has destroyed me, and it will take a long time to recover from it, if I ever can.  Too much work, no free time, fuck my dog-shit life.

^I deserve this becuause I suck.

Speaking of dog-shit, I don't even want our asshole dogs anymore because Tiger Lily has gotten so bad she will drop a steaming deuce, and trust me they steam when it's 0 degrees, and as soon as it launches from her ass she turns around and starts eating it.  OMG WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP!  I yell at her sometimes, but this morning I was like Morla from The Neverending Story.  I didn't even care... whether or not I cared. I went off on the pets this morning during our Zoom meeting with Dr. G.  I told her my life sucks ass, I don't care if I die, and all out pets can kiss my ass.  Birds, cats, dogs, all of them.  My poor wife was pretty upset after that, but I am not sorry I said it because we need to 86 all these fucking pets and just maybe have one or two cats.  Fuck those gods damned birds right up their asses.

So tomorrow we open Mad Kat 2.0 and I don't even want to be there.  I would love nothing more than to do taxes all day, maybe play racquetball, come home and have a couple drinks, and bivouac.  However, I am basically obligated to be at the restaurant.  Thankfully it's just friends and family so I don't think it will be crazy-busy.  No manager, though?  How the fuck is that going to work?  I'll probably get stuck doing most of it, I will hate my life even more, and it will lead me to an early demise.

I still own 17% of Mad Kat.  I should sell it all, and I might.  I sold most of my shares already so now we have investors and other people to let down if we fail.  Will we fail?  I dunno, Kat is strong with a good team so I hope not.  Right now I feel like I'm the weak link in the chain so the more I am there the more I will find ways to fail at life.  What a bunch of crap!

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Friday, 2-20-26: Wow 2133 and almost time to bivouac. Electric Blue.
Icehouse, Electric Blue.  Google it.  If you know anything about me you will find it as original in the most magical of all decades, the 1980s.  God I miss the 80s.  I was just a kid so my life hadn't really started, but it was fucking awesome.  Pac Man.  Pole Position.  Super Mario Brothers.  Metroid.  Return of the Jedi.  Falcor.  Spaceballs.  Def Leppard.  Ratt.  Pet Shop Boys.  Three-wheelers.  Rambo.  THE GOONIES.

Everything since then has been downhill.  I cannot possibly explain my weird fucked-up life that is borderline total insanity.  Okay, get this.  I did my ex-girlfriend's taxes yesterday, and the very first time her and I ever met was 15 years ago at Liberty Tax in Old Town.  It was my very first year doing taxes at the time; I barely knew what I was doing.  (Both with women and taxes.  What a bunch of crap!)  We courted and ended up dating and living together for the better part of three years.  Then I hauled on her and got my own house.  Then I met my awesome wife.  I met my awesome wife at Jester's in 2014.  Since then Jester's went out of business, we took over and made it an epic restaurant and bar.  I put my tax office where Jester's was.

My tax office was at the former Jester's for four years before we had to clear it out in a mad-scramble because we sold the place to drug dealers.  I moved the tax office to Bangor, a nice office but too expensive, and then the drug dealers went out of business FOR SELLING HARD DRUGS OUT OF THE RESTAURANT.  I SWEAR TO THE GODS WHO DO NOT EXIST THIS IS 100% TRUE. We knew the drug restaurant would fail when the city denied all his licenses so we made a deal to come back and here we are, about to open what is quite literally going to be the best restaurant and bar to EVER open in the history of Brewer.  Kat put her heart and soul into this version of Mad Kat, we have the right team, and in about a week it's game-on.

Back to the story of my ex, taxes, and the North Brewer Shopping Plaza.  I moved my tax office right back to where Jester's was, and the desk sits almost exactly where it sat from 2022-2024.  I've done half my ex-girlfriend's family's taxes for years and I've seen her around a little, but I've never really talked to her much.  Imagine my surprise when her mom (who is a wonderful person and for whom I've done taxes for a few years) said her daughter, my ex, wanted me to do her taxes.  OMG.  I really wanted to say no but how could I?  I don't hate my ex, she's a really wonderful person, but her and I are not compatible for life and I am 100% okay with that.

So yesterday morning the bizarre came to be in full when my ex-girlfriend, the one whom I met 15 years ago at a tax-desk, sat down at my current tax desk in the place that was once Jester's, mere feet away from where I met my current best friend and wife?! How can I even explain that?!  Then to make things even more funny Kat came back from a trip to the store and sat at her desk that is positioned a few feet away from my desk!

It was kinda awkward sitting with my ex for that tax meeting, but she's cool and remarried so no worries.  I think she's done very well for herself and I did meet her husband and I got a good vibe from him.

I "only" worked 10 hours today.  I'm a lazy-ass!  I actually got a lot done in the office, a lot of tax stuff and some payroll importing and the usual admin.  Finish Memic paperwork, update the books, a little of this, a little of that.  Our first food delivery came today, $7950 in product.  OMG!  That's not even all of it either wow!  That price does include a lot of support-products like trash bags, bleach, disposable gloves, etc.  I was able to help receive the truck between tax clients and other meetings and I was amazed how much I remembered as far as where things get stowed and the entire process.

The first employees clocked in today, first time ever for MK 2.0.  I was too busy to attend trainings, but first were servers then came bartenders.  One new hire no-showed and already quit hahahahaha!  I didn't get a good vibe from her, but I was barely paying attention and I tried to let Kat and Via handle most of that.  Another hire only wants to bartend and said she would do serving, but you can tell she's not gonna last based on how she seems to view serving.  JUST BE A FUCKING SERVER.  IT SERVES TABLES OR IT GETS THE PINK SLIP.  Servers can make more than bartenders anyway, and the bonus of being a server is you can bail on your table when they get too chatty.  When you're a bartender and you have a customer who won't STFU you're kinda stuck there.  What a bunch of crap!  Thankfully that last part for me is mostly theory since I've bartended less than five times in my life and each time I did NOT want to be doing it.

Damn it's 2157 so I think I should go rack out with my crack out.  We need to bust it out this weekend before code comes Monday morning.  If we can pass our COO with code then we have a chance of opening on a limited basis next Friday.  Maybe?  HOPEFULLY!

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Sunday, 2-15-26: More work to do than... ever before?
I canceled everything except the basics for now. As of two days ago yoga, racquetball, and the occasional jog on the treadmill is on pause. It's time to drop the hammer and get my work done, and there is a lot of work. A LOT. Like, more than I've ever had before in my worthless life. Fun is canceled and we don't even watch much TV lately beause we are too friggin' busy.

I've been working way more than 40 hours a week since the last week of November last year, and that will not stop until *maybe* May. What a bunch of crap! My awesome wife and I are in work-beast-mode now. Over the past few days we've racked out fairly early and gotten up between 0530-0545 to get geared up for a long day of work. I fuel up with some breakfast, watch a few news headlines and weather, vaccuum or do dishes, maybe both depending on the day, then it's out the door to warm up the vehicles, play with the dogs for a few minutes, and get into town for a full, long day of work. For the past three weeks my attention has been split, and now more than ever, due to the tax business. Not only do I have all kinds of tax clients who need me right now but I also have obligations to help fire Mad Kat 2.0 back up. The restaurant is going to be totally badass, but the work required to get there is incredibly daunting.

I usually get home between 1830-1930, I shovel in an edible, I eat a frozen dinner and some snacks, and we chill out and watch soe wrestling or something equally mindless on TV for a bit, on in the background a lot of the time while I read a couple news headlines online or play a stupid little cellphone puzzle game (WOODUKO) before sleep-o-clock.

I can't even begin to fill in the blanks on what's been happening in our crazy lives. Somehow Kat and Via managed to get 25 or so people hired and onboarded within the past several days. I sat in on probably 80% of the interviews, but they handled everything else and in my opinion they've done a really good job. Thursday last week was probably the busiest day we've had. Jason came up do do more A/V, we had a couple interviews, I had a couple tax clients, I had some carpentry to finish, and we had most of the new hires coming and going for their paperwork.

Oh, Wednesday last week I finally got this room functional for that huge garage job that I started way back in October, 2024:

Still needs some recessed lights, trim, adjustments to the bookcase-unit, and a few exterior lights on the deck. That room is 98% done now. Oh Jesus hell ya! I'm on pause there for at least two months unless I have to go fix something ridiculous, and the hoeowner knows that. I should have quit there a month ago, but I can't manage my time correctly anymore and I have regressed in life in that area. What a bunch of crap!

^That bookcase-unit was a giant time-succubus. Looks nice, though!

It might not be time management as much as a feeling of being borderline overwhelmed with work 90% of the time. How healthy is that?! I've had some arduous tax clients as well so far, and rarely do I get a very easy one with new "Big Beautiful Bill" tax changes like no tax on tips, no tax on overtime, etc. Hey, at least I can charge more for that stuff! Had a client last week dump a folder with 89 w2G forms. OMG?! They won over 200k at casinos last year, and not all the same casinos. I had one of my ost trusted helpers data-enter them all today because F that I have too much carpentry to do. She got them all into the system in under three hours while I installed trim in the front bathroom.

We still have a lot to do before we can open the restaurant. A LOT. Thankfully my amazing wife has assembled a great team so my role is at least palatable for me right now. I have to do more carpentry, but I don't feel as overwhelmed by it as I did even two days ago. I was able to get a lot done there today with no tax clients. Most of what I have left is trim and finish work, but that often takes the longest.

I'm hoping the worst of winter is behind us now. Winter is far from over, but we've hit 30+ the past couple days with many more days to come around 35, give or take. No brutal cold in the long-range outlook, but a few chilly mornings still with tomorrow being around 5. I saw on the news last week the time period of Jan 23 - Feb 8 for Bangor was the second-coldest stretch since they kept records back 100 years ago. What a bunch of crap! No wonder our last restaurant heat bill was for $830...

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Sunday, 2-08-26: Superbowl Sunday and the Patriots.. I'm beat!
OMG the Patriots are in the Superbowl again!  They sucked for a few years after God-Brady left for Tampa Bay before he retired, but they were great this year.  Much better than expected and I saw they set a record for best year-over-year turnaround of all-time for a Superbowl team.  4-13 last year, 14-3 this year, now playing in the Superbowl against the Seattle Seahawks.  Sadly the Patriots are down 9-0 at halftime.  What a bunch of crap!  Seattle is a better team whose defense is incredible.  Pats could still win, but I'm not sure I can stay awake until the end because my awesome wife and I decided to get a lot done at the restaurant today and pretty much every day lately.

We bivouaced at 2030 last night, woke up on and off a little in the night, but mostly slept well for 0500 reveille and off to work as the sun was rising.  (Slept poorly Friday night.)  I actually didn't get to the bar until 0650 because our fuck-tard dogs decided to hang out off near the woods-line searching for deer shit to eat.  I swear to the gods who do not really exist that is true.  Our asshole dogs eat whatever frozen turds they can find including their own.  What a bunch of crap!  I wish we never got the dogs, but we are committed now and I don't always hate them.  I just can't stand them when they don't listen and eat crap.  Gods damn it!

I try to let the dogs play outside a little each day, mostly in the morning before I head into town, and this winter has been fantastic for them.  Too bad it's been terrible for us with below-average cold and above-average snow.  Thankfully tomorrow looks to be the last below-average temperature day for a while, and hopefully for most of what's left of winter.  If we can limp through February we really turn the corner towards spring by March.

Bad Bunny is doing the halftime show, and I don't give a shit about his music at all.  I put it on mute haha.  The production for the show is top-notch, though.  I respect Bad Bunny because when he did some appearances for the WWE he did awesome.  He seems to legit be a wrestling fan, and he actually put in the work to train and have decent celebrity-appearance matches a couple years ago.  He seems like a cool guy I just don't want to listen to his music.

I might not even be able to upload this bootleg update that almost no one will ever read for the entire month because I'm so busy.  Tax business is going gangbusters and the restaurant is as well.  We got a lot done this weekend there.  A LOT.  I didn't schedule any tax clients this weekend or tomorrow so I can give a good effort for the restaurant that we hope to open in just over a couple weeks.  Can we pull that off?  Maybe?  Hopefully!  This weekend we had plumbers, electricians, and Hawk there as well as my awesome wife, myself, and some other helpers.  Dillon did the gas for the kitchen and cleaned the ice machines so that was a HUGE help.  I built most of the DJ booth today and finally got home after 11 hours of working.  My awesome wife worked just as much if not a little longer since she was at the bar while I was trying to corral our turd-eating moron dogs.

Patriots are not looking good.  What a bunch of crap!  If Seattle scores a touchdown I think the game might be over because Seattle's defense is off-the-scale good.  I'm sure the Patriots will score some points, but maybe not until the end of the game when it's considered "garbage time" when the game is essentially over and points no longer matter.  Who knows, they might get shut out?  This will NOT be like the Patriots of years ago when they came back from a 28-9 deficit to the Falcons in the 3rd quarter.  I hope they come back, though.

I don't care as much about the game I'm just glad they made it this far.  They got lucky getting to the Superbowl in the playoffs, especially since a couple weeks ago in Denver they barely beat the Broncos and their backup QB.  I think they would've lost that game if Denver had their starting QB.  Who knows and in any case it's just a game and it's been fun to watch.

16-0 Seattle in the 4th quarter now.  Announcers said no Superbowl team has ever been shut out so I concede the loss I just hope the Pats can score a few points.  Bedtime soon as we have a long week ahead with lots of meetings, tax clients, carpentry, and the usual on the schedule.  I can barely keep up anymore what a bunch of crap!